Count Binface, a self-described intergalactic space warrior, has released his manifesto ahead of the General Election in North Yorkshire. The 24-point manifesto aims to unseat Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and introduce national service for former prime ministers.
Binface, created by comedian Jonathan David Harvey, promises that pensions will be double-locked, Claudia Winkleman’s fringe will be Grade-1 listed, and he will represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest if elected.
Binface’s manifesto is entitled “Bloody Loyal To Wherever I’m Standing For Election” and aims to mix local, national, and intergalactic policies.
He pledges to fight loud noises in public spaces, ban loud snacks from cinemas and theatres, and ban speaker phones on public transport. He also wants to see the reintroduction of Ceefax, the world’s first teletext information service, and ensure that Children in Need “finally get around” to fixing Pudsey’s eye.
Improving train services is a central focus of Binface’s manifesto, with promises to provide “trains that work” and “WiFi on trains that work”.
He also promises to tackle traffic on Northallerton High Street by a new space bridge, move the hand dryer in gents’ urinals at the Crown & Treaty in Uxbridge, west London, and make it mandatory for MPs to live in their desired area for four years before the election to improve local representation.
Count Binface’s motivations for running include being at a loose end, being a huge fan of British democracy, and his humble ambitions to conquer the entire omniverse.
